I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize