I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize