Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
