Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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