Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I need to calm my uterus...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
