Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
