Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
