Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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