I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
