Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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