I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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