I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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