I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
