Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
