Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
