how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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