just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
