Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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