what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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