Im at strip club and am horny
You're completely useless in the revolution.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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