Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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