Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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