so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
