I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
