I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize