Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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