I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize
