mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize