I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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