I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
