sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
