Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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