Betty ford says i'm here all night
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
