Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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