I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
