ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
