i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
