I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
