I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Sober January is a disaster.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
