Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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