spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
