Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize