i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
