ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
