Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
