she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
