Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
