Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
