White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
