we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
