Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
