k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
