So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
