Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
