she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
