You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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