Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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