I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
