For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
