i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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