My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize