NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
