hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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