the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
