Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She bit a glass in half.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
